Tanya turned 13! We ate out at Costa Vida as a family (she picked the restaurant because Victor doesn't like fast food tacos), one way to pick what you would like to eat on your birthday. We then had Grandma and Grandpa Tingey over and Brady and his girls came. We had lots of cake and ice cream and then opened presents.
Here's a smile. She was really disappointed with her birthday because she didn't get a 10$ dog she had seen at a drug store. I didn't even know what or where to get it. She sat sulking in her room the rest of the night. And the next day when I asked her to thank the kids for her gifts she said No. So I was a little, ok, really ticked with her for the next few days. After a couple days she said thanks to everyone at the table.
That week she told the therapist that she doesnt' have a family -- pretty much because I was mad at her (because she wouldn't say thank you, why didn't I let that one go?). It festered and by Friday I got mad so I sat all the kids down and we had a talk about why mom was mad and so I could say sorry (I feel like that is all I did this summer was say sorry for everything... flash back of a very stressful/crazy summer). So yesterday in therapy she said she wanted to have a family again because mom loved her. I feel like I'm walking on a tight rope, I do one thing and depending on how she interprets it the world is good or bad. I know it's just the attachement (talking doesn't work, it's a brain thing) and where she is mentally and the last two months have been pretty good, it's just so much more work and pressure than I ever imagined.
Lots of firsts for her and me. She never had a "big" birthday and I never thought anyone could hate their birthday.... good thing there is next year. baby steps...
20 hours ago